Regrets of the year gone by....

1. I STILL haven't made my website. Bad, bad, BAD girl ! (how am I EVER going to widen that freelance web??)
2. I didn't stay in touch enough.....
3. I STILL haven't hit my target weight.
4. I made it to Thailand, sans Serenity, but not the other places I had planned to visit with him.
5. I didn't save as much as I should have.
6. Though I have mellowed (quite a bit, according to me..... not enough, according to Serenity), I'm still not zen enough to not yell and scream and get homicidal when we fight.
7. I STILL hate my killjoy partypooper bitch of a neighbour.
8. I don't get enough exercise. 
9. I shopped wayyyyyy too much..... also refer point #5.
10. I've stopped checking my glucometer, I don't think I'm making much progress with keeping my blood sugar levels down.....also,
11. I haven't gone back to my diabetologist in a year almost.


.....and as far as resolutions go, well.... its the 6th of Jan and its not like I kept mine even on the 1st, so the less said about that, the better!

What's with the Invincible Corks??

Mimi / Arliemol and I have history..... of the DISASTROUS variety!
The simplest, most mundane activities we try to perform (post Serenity's bedtime, post midnight!) usually end in disaster and de-wash-tation (to quote Mimi!)....
Here we present 2 case studies of the more memorable kind. The second is what prompted this post. Unfortunately, Case study 1 is not accompanied by pictures.


Case Study 1: 2 women trying to paint their nails.
Method: Volunteer to paint Mimi's nails RED. Shake bottle vigourously. Watch helplessly as said bottle flies out of hand and splatters on pristine white guestroom floor. Realise there's about 2 ml of nail-paint remover left. Try and prioritise whether to clean Mimi (who is spattered upto her knees in red nail paint) or the floor. Fail miserably at both.
Result: Guestroom floor now looks like a scene from Dexter.


Case Study 2: 2 women want to drink a mini bottle of Rosé
Method: Try and open with Corkscrew A. Helplessly watch as corkscrew A breaks, embedding itself in the cork. Proceed to sloowwwwly chip away at cork with knife, avoiding embedded corkscrew to further avoid blade joining corkscrew in the cork. Progress to potato peeler. Abandon hope. Resume chipping away at cork, tea- strainer on standby. Involve mighty Ikea toolkit. Successfully pull out remnants of Corkscrew A. Resume mission with Corkscrew B. Mission successful. 
Result: 2 measly glasses of wine that in hindsight - a) we could have done without.... and b) REALLY did NOT justify the effort we put into it.

Mediterranean Madness Continues...

And so, as promised, here are the pictures!

Sadly, these are the 'ones that worked' - the one which got away, is the image of my kitchen counter with a coffee mug that I used to mix the yeast in and left unattended.... Only to come back and see that what had previously 'not risen', had now risen, left the mug and overflowed onto the counter!! But I'm not going to show you those pictures, am I now?!!

The Pita bread came out PERFECTLY!! :) 

ooooh! I am SO kicked!! (and very smugly proud of myself! - my pitas were "almost" circular! For me, that's saying a lot since I don't EVER make rotis!!)

The dough when it began to rise! :) yayyy!!

The perfect Pitas! (with my recipe book in the background!!)

The Chicken and the Chick pea! :)

The Spread! - Hummus, Pita Bread, Mediterranean Chicken and Zalouk! 

Om Nom Nom Nom!! Pure Happiness!

Mediterranean Mania!

I've been meaning to do a Mediterranean dinner sometime, and what better way to kickstart the week than with some yummy in the tummy?!!

The menu for tonight is :

• Hummus
• Zalouk (A Moroccan Eggplant salad - which is the ONLY form in which i actually LIKE eggplant!!)
• Mediterranean(ish) Chicken (which doesnt really follow any recipe!)
• and Pita Bread !! (that I'm MAKING from scratch!!)

• • Hummus 

Ingredients: 600 gm cooked chickpeas

                   3 garlic cloves crushed 

                   (of course, I used more garlic! I LOVE garlic, remember?)

                   100 ml Olive Oil (preferably Extra Virgin)

                    2 tbsp Tahini 

                    1 tsp Ground Cumin (which I skipped!)

                    Juice of 1 lemon

Method:       Blend chickpeas, garlic, olive oil, tahini and lemon juice till smooth. 

                   Add 1/4 th cup water and blend again. Garnish with paprika and olive oil.

• Zalouk (Moroccan Eggplant Salad)

Ingredients: 1 large eggplant - peeled and chopped

                   4 (or more) large tomatoes - peeled and chopped (I didnt peel them!)

                   3 (or more!) cloves of garlic - minced fine.

                   1/4 cup chopped cilantro

                   1/4 cup chopped parsley (also skipped!)

                   1 tbsp paprika / chili flakes

                   1 tbsp ground cumin

                   1 1/2 tsp salt

                   1/4 cup olive oil

                   1/4 cup water 

                    Lemons (optional, but best if you DID use the lemons!)

Method:       Place all ingredients except the lemon in a pot.

                   Cover and simmer at medium heat.

                   Cook covered for about 30 mins till eggplant and tomato are tender.

                   Mash well. Continue cooking (uncovered) to reduce - upto 30 mins.

                   Stir frequently. Drizzle additional olive oil if required.

                   Squeeze lime over after cooking. Stir. Serve either hot or cold.

• Pita Bread 

Ingredients:  1 sachet yeast (about 1 tbsp)

                    1/2 cup warm water

                    3 cups flour

                    1 1/4 tsp salt

                    1 tsp granulated sugar

                    1 cup lukewarm water

Method:        Dissolve the yeast in 1/2 cup warm water. Add sugar and stir until 

                    dissolved. Let it sit for 10-15 mins till it turns frothy.

                    Combine flour and salt in a large bowl.

                    Make a well in the middle and pour in the yeast mixture. Slowly add 1 cup 

                    of warm water and stir till the dough is elastic, not sticky.

                    Place dough on a floured surface and knead until it is smooth and elastic 

                    for about 10 - 15 mins.

                    Coat with olive oil and let it sit in a warm place until the dough doubles 

                    in volume - about 3 hours. Once the dough has doubled, roll out as a 

                    rope, pinching off small pieces. 

                    Cover and let the pieces sit for 10 - 15 mins. Preheat oven to 250 C. 

                    Roll out the dough into circles of about 5 -6 inches diameter and about 

                    1/4 inch thick. 

                    Bake for about 3-4 mins till the bread puffs up. 

                    Flip and bake the other side.

So I'm off to knead and punch and chop and dice and mince! Will post pictures soon! :)

   

(Nothing) Lost In Translation!

While in Phuket, on one of our shopping expeditions, I was looking at a stall that sold t-shirts. In most of these countries, where English is not the first language, bargaining happens in pidgin English with the help of a calculator... You ask the vendor the cost of something, he types it into the calculator... you shake your head and mime that you don't have that much money... he hands you the calculator and you punch in your figure.... and so on.


So my travel companion was looking at some stuff in another shop, while I looked at the t-shirts looking for something to get Serenity....and I told the shopkeeper I was looking for something as a gift for a boy... He pointed this one out to me... and WINKED!! 

To which I laughed and shook my head.... 

and then he points to THIS one!!

To which, again, I shook my head to say no, then made an angry face and a "cut-throat" gesture and pointed to my ring finger to say "I'm married to him!" To which the guy made a sad face, shook his head sorrowfully and pointed out THIS one!!

And then we both laughed our heads off !! 

Not one word spoken, but SO MUCH said !!

Picture This....

So here I was, preparing to leave on a long-awaited GIRLS TRIP to Phuket.... Numerous checklists were made, wardrobe decided etc etc...


On the morning I was supposed to leave, I was enjoying a sleepy morning cuddle with Serenity and he asked me if I had packed my medicines (I am diabetic.. yeah - bummer!) and I, equally sleepy, said "Yeahhh.... I have to go to the chemist before I leave - need to get The Pill also..." Which obviously woke him up good, because he was like "The pill?? For what?!" And because I'm evil (obviously!) I said "Because I'm off to have lots of unprotected sex with strangers!!" And proceeded to explain that I didnt want that time of the month to coincide with my beach holiday!! And then I did a "Gotcha! Didnt I?" on him!!


So then, he left for work etc etc... and I decided to take off my rings (because I didnt want to get mugged / lose them) and I left them in HIS cupboard.... and it struck me much later that he would come home, empty his pockets, take off his watch and find that I've taken off my wedding ring!! :D 


And then... just before I left, I was taking off my gold earrings and I dropped one of the screws into my cupboard. Not having the time to look for it, I wrote a post-it saying "FIND SCREW!!" and put that on my desk!!


While I was sitting in the cab on my way to the airport, I suddenly thought of this whole sequence and laughed my head off!!

And Yet Again...

So I was having a really busy day yesterday - lots of damage control needed at one of my sites in Delhi and I was on the phone almost all evening. When I called my client to update her about some changes being made, she suddenly says,"I'll talk to you later, I have to go - there's been 3 blasts in Bombay!".... 3 blasts... again? 


Now Serenity and Calamity dont have a TV... we didnt want a TV in our initial year of marriage... and then we just got so used to seeing movies on the computer or at a theatre that it stopped mattering... (psst... I'll let you in on a secret... I'm going to get me one when I hit my target weight!! :D All to prevent me from turning into a couch potato - an eventuality that is a definite possibility given what a TV Junkie I am!)


And so, for the SECOND time, I got to know what was happening in my city over the phone. With 26/11, I had friends call me and ask me if everyone I knew was okay.... I was like,"Huh? why wouldnt they be?"... upon which I was told about what had happened.... "Arent you watching the news???" (Would have been waayy too lengthy to explain the no-TV thing at that juncture, so I just left it and went to check live feeds online.)


Strange coincidence, yesterday was the birthday of that ASSHOLE we're keeping alive and feeding biryani to.... Arlie, now, is the Queen of Conspiracy Theories... Her personal investigations and follow-ups on the Aarushi Talwar case would put the CBI to shame! And I, in full steam, had a flame-war with an idiot on an online forum because he kept saying "Yeah, India's never going to learn." My only question is howw?? What CAN we do to prevent this from happening over and over again? We've been Gandhian for far too long and turned the other cheek / picked ourselves up and dusted off the carnage from our systems. What HAS been done after 26/11? 


India is my home, and I dont feel safe in it any more. We elect new governments with the hope that each one will be better than the last, but to what effect? Suresh Kalmadi has raked in an INCREDIBLE fortune, while making India look like a fool in the international arena and he's sitting pretty behind bars, socialising with other birds of his feather. We've found Kasab guilty - no question about that... and yet we keep him alive to eat biryani?? Its ridiculous and a mockery of a judicial system that would allow a creature like him to live after he's butchered so many innocents. "Security has been beefed up" - SUCH a trite phrase. Sure, you think its been beefed up, but if a recurrence like this is how you "beef up" security, you need to check your definitions, pal. 


A friend of mine said that she was looking at little boys leaving a madrasa and thinking "Potential jihadis".... which is SO sad, dont you think? Like I've always said, I believe that India's Muslims are Indians first. I dont want to tar everyone with the same brush because of a few... but when home-grown terror units are on the rise, I dont blame my friend for voicing what a LOT of other people may be thinking. What if a whole nation began thinking like that? What would that do to the cultural diversity of this country? This is as much their home as it is ours. Look what the 1947 partition did to us...


More than anger, I'm just really sad. I really dont have any answers and I honestly dont think the Government has either... Which is a pretty hopeless situation to be in, wouldnt you say?