I have a 4 year old...... which is happy and giggly and bouncy most of the time, and sometimes weepy and sulky and stubborn. No, I do not refer to Serenity. Serenity and Calamity have now been married for 4 years, and the temperamental 4 year old is our Marriage!
How time flies!! We have days and weeks that'll go by in beautiful machine-like precision like a well-orchestrated ballet.... and then suddenly one day, we feel like we're all over the place and then sparks fly. I think the move to Tech City has been the best thing for us as a couple, given the fact that the City-which-wakes-up-early caused me nothing but angst. We're SO much better now (because I am so much happier now!)... happier - which I think is MOST important.
Yesterday felt like any other day - morning hugs, a working day.... and then in the evening we both got all dolled up and went for a fancy sushi dinner, came home and opened the Ardbeg and sat chatting on the balcony like we used to in the City-that-wakes-up-early. Those balcony chats were always special, sitting in the darkness, having a drink and just talking, talking, talking. It was how we got to know each other - and it was quiet time and it was for us alone.
Considering how we had a (not so typical) Arranged Marriage, we had a lot of "getting to know one another" to do. The balcony chats were when he told me what irritated him about me, and I told him about the things he did that pissed me off. It was neutral ground somehow, and nothing that was said could be taken offense to (that was one of the ground rules!).... and so over 4 years, we rubbed each other's corners raw, got angry, frustrated and wanted to break things.... and made up....and stayed together. We still fight, of course, but we're a lot better at dealing with it. Serenity has figured how to make a PISSED OFF Calamity laugh in the middle of her yelling and tears.... and then he shakes a finger at me and says "You laughed, so you can't be angry any more!"....and yes, it IS usually left to Serenity to make me laugh, because if Serenity laughs during a fight, you can put money on the fact that I will NOT be calming down - the opposite in fact!!
In our wedding pictures, there's more than one picture where I look worried and pre-occupied, questioning myself whether this was what I wanted - to marry him and move to a city I had no one in.... I look uncertain and scared even. I can confidently say today, I made the right choice. Marriage has been different from single life, but Serenity's been SO good to me, good for me. We've grown into this marriage, like a pair of leather shoes that pinch when you wear them the first time and now just fit your feet like a glove that was made especially for it, it feels sometimes like we've always been together..... and yet, just like those shoes, when you stop and look at them, they look great - a little scuffed maybe, but they make you feel like you're on top of the world and they warm and protect. (God! Typical woman - SHOE metaphors????? - I can SO picture him saying that!)
So yeah, like I said, my "shoes" are 4 years old, scuffed, comfortable and with a LOT of wear left in them - they're my favourite pair in the world !!
