Monday, July 25, 2011

(Nothing) Lost In Translation!

While in Phuket, on one of our shopping expeditions, I was looking at a stall that sold t-shirts. In most of these countries, where English is not the first language, bargaining happens in pidgin English with the help of a calculator... You ask the vendor the cost of something, he types it into the calculator... you shake your head and mime that you don't have that much money... he hands you the calculator and you punch in your figure.... and so on.

So my travel companion was looking at some stuff in another shop, while I looked at the t-shirts looking for something to get Serenity....and I told the shopkeeper I was looking for something as a gift for a boy... He pointed this one out to me... and WINKED!! 

To which I laughed and shook my head.... 
and then he points to THIS one!!

To which, again, I shook my head to say no, then made an angry face and a "cut-throat" gesture and pointed to my ring finger to say "I'm married to him!" To which the guy made a sad face, shook his head sorrowfully and pointed out THIS one!!

And then we both laughed our heads off !! 
Not one word spoken, but SO MUCH said !!

Picture This....

So here I was, preparing to leave on a long-awaited GIRLS TRIP to Phuket.... Numerous checklists were made, wardrobe decided etc etc...

On the morning I was supposed to leave, I was enjoying a sleepy morning cuddle with Serenity and he asked me if I had packed my medicines (I am diabetic.. yeah - bummer!) and I, equally sleepy, said "Yeahhh.... I have to go to the chemist before I leave - need to get The Pill also..." Which obviously woke him up good, because he was like "The pill?? For what?!" And because I'm evil (obviously!) I said "Because I'm off to have lots of unprotected sex with strangers!!" And proceeded to explain that I didnt want that time of the month to coincide with my beach holiday!! And then I did a "Gotcha! Didnt I?" on him!!

So then, he left for work etc etc... and I decided to take off my rings (because I didnt want to get mugged / lose them) and I left them in HIS cupboard.... and it struck me much later that he would come home, empty his pockets, take off his watch and find that I've taken off my wedding ring!! :D 

And then... just before I left, I was taking off my gold earrings and I dropped one of the screws into my cupboard. Not having the time to look for it, I wrote a post-it saying "FIND SCREW!!" and put that on my desk!!

While I was sitting in the cab on my way to the airport, I suddenly thought of this whole sequence and laughed my head off!!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

And Yet Again...

So I was having a really busy day yesterday - lots of damage control needed at one of my sites in Delhi and I was on the phone almost all evening. When I called my client to update her about some changes being made, she suddenly says,"I'll talk to you later, I have to go - there's been 3 blasts in Bombay!".... 3 blasts... again? 

Now Serenity and Calamity dont have a TV... we didnt want a TV in our initial year of marriage... and then we just got so used to seeing movies on the computer or at a theatre that it stopped mattering... (psst... I'll let you in on a secret... I'm going to get me one when I hit my target weight!! :D All to prevent me from turning into a couch potato - an eventuality that is a definite possibility given what a TV Junkie I am!)

And so, for the SECOND time, I got to know what was happening in my city over the phone. With 26/11, I had friends call me and ask me if everyone I knew was okay.... I was like,"Huh? why wouldnt they be?"... upon which I was told about what had happened.... "Arent you watching the news???" (Would have been waayy too lengthy to explain the no-TV thing at that juncture, so I just left it and went to check live feeds online.)

Strange coincidence, yesterday was the birthday of that ASSHOLE we're keeping alive and feeding biryani to.... Arlie, now, is the Queen of Conspiracy Theories... Her personal investigations and follow-ups on the Aarushi Talwar case would put the CBI to shame! And I, in full steam, had a flame-war with an idiot on an online forum because he kept saying "Yeah, India's never going to learn." My only question is howw?? What CAN we do to prevent this from happening over and over again? We've been Gandhian for far too long and turned the other cheek / picked ourselves up and dusted off the carnage from our systems. What HAS been done after 26/11? 

India is my home, and I dont feel safe in it any more. We elect new governments with the hope that each one will be better than the last, but to what effect? Suresh Kalmadi has raked in an INCREDIBLE fortune, while making India look like a fool in the international arena and he's sitting pretty behind bars, socialising with other birds of his feather. We've found Kasab guilty - no question about that... and yet we keep him alive to eat biryani?? Its ridiculous and a mockery of a judicial system that would allow a creature like him to live after he's butchered so many innocents. "Security has been beefed up" - SUCH a trite phrase. Sure, you think its been beefed up, but if a recurrence like this is how you "beef up" security, you need to check your definitions, pal. 

A friend of mine said that she was looking at little boys leaving a madrasa and thinking "Potential jihadis".... which is SO sad, dont you think? Like I've always said, I believe that India's Muslims are Indians first. I dont want to tar everyone with the same brush because of a few... but when home-grown terror units are on the rise, I dont blame my friend for voicing what a LOT of other people may be thinking. What if a whole nation began thinking like that? What would that do to the cultural diversity of this country? This is as much their home as it is ours. Look what the 1947 partition did to us...

More than anger, I'm just really sad. I really dont have any answers and I honestly dont think the Government has either... Which is a pretty hopeless situation to be in, wouldnt you say?